Chicago 50 - No. 42 - Class

Mary McCarty and Chita Rivera.

Kander: Writing “Class” was fun in that way where we were able to just let go.

Ebb: That was a duet for Velma and the prison matron. After we had written it, I remember having serious second thoughts about the number.

Ebb: I almost talked myself out of that one. Funny songs actually terrify me. I'm at a loss there because very seldom do I think what I've written is funny. I would have cut "Class" in two minutes from my own fear of it before I saw it on the stage. I know we often write comic songs that come off, but I never know whether a song will work while I am writing it. With "Class," we kept trying to find "ass" rhymes. I came up with "Last week my mother got groped in the middle of Mass!" I remember you laughed so hard when you heard that line you almost fell off the piano bench. We both loved the line, and Chita loved it. We put it in a matinee that same day, but there was dead silence from the audience. So we took the line out. I can be easily discouraged that way.

Mary McCarty and Chita Rivera.

Kander: I have more belief in your humor than you have.

Ebb: But that's what gets me through. If you had not stuck with "Class," that number would have been out. I didn't even do it at the backers' audition. I thought it would bomb and refused to do it. The first night the song went into the show, I panicked. I ran downstairs to the men's room to hide. Eventually, I heard the audience laughing and decided to go back up. On the steps, I heard more laughter, and on the line "No one even says 'oops' when they're passing their gas, there was a really huge laugh.

Only then did I realize the song was funny.

Headlines about Belva Gaertner which described her as having "class"

Kander: My feeling about your humor, your humor lyrics if you want to call them that, is that if the audience doesn't get it, that doesn't necessarily mean it's not funny. You and I have somewhat different senses of humor. I love things that are dirty or risqué, and I encourage your vulgar streak whenever I possibly can.

Ebb: Yes, you keep me vulgar.

Whatever happened to fair dealing?

And pure ethics

And nice manners?

Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass?

Whatever happened to class?

Matron:

Class.

Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"

And "Yes, thank you?"

And "How charming?"

Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass

Whatever happened to class?

Velma and Matron:

Class!

Ah, there ain't no gentlemen

To open up the doors

There ain't no ladies now,

There's only pigs and whores

And even kids'll knock ya down

So's they can pass

Nobody's got no class!

Velma:

Whatever happened to old values?

Matron:

And fine morals?

Velma:

And good breeding?

Matron

Now, no one even says "oops" when they're

Passing their gas

Whatever happened to class?

Velma:

Class

Velma and Matron:

Ah, there ain't no gentlemen

That's fit for any use

And any girl'd touch your privates

For a deuce

Matron:

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass

Velma:

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass

Velma and Matron:

Nobody's got no class!

Velma:

All you read about today is rape and theft

Matron:

Jesus Christ, ain't there no decency left?

Velma and Matron:

Nobody's got no class

Matron:

Everybody you watch

Velma:

'S got his brains in his crotch

Matron:

Holy crap

Velma:

Holy crap

Matron:

What a shame

Velma:

What a shame

Velma and Matron:

What became of class?