NYCB Vol. 13 No. 40 - Nutcracker

[40/50] Counting down 50 NYCB Nutcrackers this year with stories from NYCB dancers past and present! Today we hear from Susie Freedman Londoner who danced with NYCB from 1974-1986.

There are so many stories and memories to be reflected on by a kid who started at The School of American Ballet and had her first Nutcracker experience at seven, and then danced with New York City Ballet for thirteen years.

My most indelible memory of Nutcracker was a performance where I had done snow in the First Act, and then had to run up to my dressing room on the fourth floor to prepare for the role of Arabian, better known to us as Coffee. Change my hair (I put on a long braid even though my hair was already quite long, but not long enough for stage effect), upped my eye makeup to look more exotic, carefully pinned the amazing dramatic headpiece onto my head, darkened my face makeup, put on my dangly sparkly earrings, pancaked the part of my body that was showing a toasty brown, placed a large jewel in my belly button with eyelash glue to hold it, put on my dark tights, that I pulled down under the costume so that my belly showed au natural, put on my pancaked pointe shoes (to match my tights and skin) and headed back down to the stage level and dressing room to put on my beautiful and very heavy bejeweled costume.

I was warm from dancing snow in the first act, and once fully dressed headed back onto the stage to practice a bit before the second act was to begin. The stage was swept clean from snow, lights and stage reset in all it’s Candy Land Glory, the stage was buzzing with all the gorgeous dancers in their spectacularly beautiful costumes, stage hands were finalizing the the magical chord that would magically pull the Sugarplum across the stage, the precious tiny Angels were ready for the curtain to go up to the building crescendo of the second act’s overture and for the magic of Candy Land to thrill and mesmerize the audience and dancers alike.

I was feeling good and prepared. Mr. Balanchine had taken his place in the front wing. And so it began…We did all of our introductions to the Sugarplum Fairy, and I ran around to the other side of stage to await my entrance. After Spanish finished, the stage lights went down, and my music began, bah da bumbumbum bum, bah da bumbumbumbum, and I stepped out onto the stage. I always came out of the wing, and took a gave a long lasting look at the audience before my dance was to start. So I did this, and then I blanked out. Totally, completely. I realized then and there that I was goner. My brain had left my body, and I was horrified! I heard the music but the steps and what I was supposed to do disappeared from my mind. All I knew at that petrifying moment was that I had to keep moving. I have no idea how I had any presence of mind when I was so scared, but I just kept telling myself “DONT STOP MOVIN!!” So I didn’t. For three minutes and you know how long three minutes can be, I made it up as I went along, all the while knowing Mr. B was right there and everyone else in the wings were witnessing it all. It was like I was in a trance.

By some kind of miracle I had filled all that stage time, and what I was supposed to do came back to me just towards the end. I did the splits and the final crawl toward the audience, lifted my leg over the back of my head, gave one last final and intense, sultry as I could pull off look and the audience, and did the final Plink of the hand symbols. It was over. The longest three minutes of my life. I got up off the floor, then I ran off stage, ready and one hundred percent prepared and ready to be ousted…forever. Only thing is the audience was applauding louder than I had ever remembered being applauded for. As I tried ran past him, thinking this was it, Mr. Balanchine grabbed me and threw me back on stage yelling take a bow. I did, ran back off stage, but they were still applauding, so he pushed me out there again. Is there a moral to this story, no I don’t think so but the Nutcracker angels were definitely with me that strange and wonderful night.

What I am left with the most is the understanding of just how understanding and compassionate Mr. Balanchine was. He allowed misfortune to be turned into a positive, and allowed for us to be human. It taught me how to treat my kids, and the human race in general. Shit happens, and life goes on....